This one goes out to my mom, because she’s been having a hard time figuring out what to get me for Happy Winter Present Week. Problem solved, Mommie!
I want the artificial virginity hymen!

That’s right, ladies, you can fool your partner into thinking you’re as pure as the terrifying amount of climate-change-induced snow falling outside! Who needs honesty in a relationship when you can trick that special dude or lady into thinking your cherry’s just been popped with “a liquid that look like blood not too much but just the right amount”?
Just kidding, Mom, I don’t actually want this. I mean, er, I don’t actually need this…
(via feministing)


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